Stick your tongue in, jackass.
You’re not who you want the rest of us to think you are. The real guy never lost a NBA Finals.
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Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Prepare yourself for an inside look at Charlie Barkley…deep inside.
Former Olympic Gold Medalist Chuck Barkley has been asked to undergo a televised colonoscopy as part of the ‘Stand Up to Cancer’ special being aired Sept. 5 by NBC, CBS and ABC.
That’s wonderful. All men of a certain advanced age should make an appointment to get a cold steel tube shoved up their ass in the name of cancer prevention. Really. Can’t wait to watch it. Not really.
But we have two questions: How do they find a colonoscope that big…and do they have to drill a hole in his blackjack stool at the Wynn?
We are also hearing that Grey Goose and Patron are the major sponsors. No word yet on whether Kenny ‘The Jet’ Smith will be performing the procedure, as he’s quite familiar with the area in question…having had his nose up there for years.
Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,NBA,Charles Barkley,TNT,Kenny Smith,NBC,CBS,ABC,colon cancer,colonoscopy
‘Lightning’ Bolt does it again in the 200M.
Usain Bolt of Jamaica broke Michael Johnson’s 12 year old world record by winning the 200 meters in 19.30 seconds Wednesday night in Beijing, becoming the first man since Carl Lewis in 1984 to sweep the 100 and 200 gold medals at an Olympics.
Bolt is the first man ever to break the world marks in both sprints at an Olympics.
There has been a lot of talk about Bolt not showing proper respect to his fellow Olympians when he won the 100M, and there’s some validity to that argument. However, when you kick down those two records in a single Olympics…to potentially be called the fastest man EVER…you should be allowed your little peccadilloes.
Perhaps if Bolt celebrated by sparking a giant Jamaican spliff 50 yards before the finish…that might cross the ‘good sportsmanship’ line…but probably not even then.
A-Rod trying to quash those disgusting Madonna rumors.
Page Six (who would never publish anything untrue) is reporting that Yankees superstar Alex Rodriguez has been seen squiring separate hotties in two different cities lately.
Good for him. He filed for divorce three whole weeks ago…he needs to get back on the horse…so to speak.
Where could A-Rod possibly meet chicks these days? Match.com? Whoever he bangs must know quite well who he is and the potential of her becoming paparazzi fodder for a week or so.
Maybe that’s his pickup line…‘Hey baby, wanna be on the cover of The Post?’
Brilliant.
Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,MLB,New York Yankees,New York Post,Page Six,Richard Johnson,Alex Rodriguez,Madonna
SportsBlogNet.com Launches into Beta
We just wanted to let our readers know that we are apart of a new Sports Blog Network at SportsBlogNet.com. SportsBlogNet.com is a site that feeds in over 50 great sports blogs and links back out to all of them. They drive traffic to our site and also sell ads for all the blogs in the network.
At SportsBlogNet.com you can:
- Read all the quality blogs in the network
- Write for a blog in the network
- Discover new blogs
- Build a new free sports blog
- Join the network as an additional revenue and traffic source for your sports blog
Currently SportsBlogNet.com has approximately 56 blogs in the network with a reach of approximately 200,000 unique visitors per month which is growing daily. Check it out. They are interested in hearing your feedback.
Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,SportsBlogNet
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
The Olympics are ditching baseball but keeping trampoline?!?
Even this guy thinks that’s ridiculous.
China's Lu Chunlong competes in the men's trampoline final of the artistic gymnastics event of the Beijing 2008 Olympic Games in Beijing on August 19, 2008. China's Lu Chunlong won the gold, Canada's Jason Burnett the silver and China's Dong Dong the bronze. (Photo credit: LLUIS GENE/AFP/Getty Images)
Yep, you read that correctly…Dong Dong won bronze on the ‘tramp’. If only there were a joke there somewhere…
If there were ever a medal the U.S. would be proud not to win…it would have to be in trampoline. Next time you get into an argument with your Chinese friends…you can bust them by saying, ‘Yeah, well at least we don’t put any effort into not sucking at trampoline.’ Unlike Les Habitants to our immediate North.
Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,2008 Olympic Games,MLB,baseball,trampoline,Dong Dong,gay,gayer,gayest
Ocho Cinco injured way more than originally hoped?
Bengals.com is reporting that Cincinnati re-signed suspended WR Chris Henry because big dummy Chad Johnson is now expected to miss significant playing time due to his recent shoulder injury.
Normally, we’d have pointed out what a crybaby drama queen Johnson was acting like after what, in real time, first looked like a routine tackle. However, when you see the play in slow-motion, you notice how he slammed down with full force on his elbow jarring that shoulder significantly. We know how bad that can be, as that’s the exact injury that ended our illustrious Division 1-AA college football career.
That, plus having to run the stadium stairs for a few hours carrying 20 lb. dumbbells in each hand as punishment for not returning to spring practice quickly enough. Football injuries were treated a tad bit differently 20 years ago.
Nice of the Bengals to quasi-admit they were wrong about Chris Henry, though.
After watching Tank Johnson on HBO’s fantastic series ‘Hard Knocks’, we kinda wish the Bears wouldn’t have dumped him, either.
Just Manny being walk-up ticket sales gold.
Not only is Manny Ramirez paying dividends on the field for the Dodgers, but he’s starting to help drive walk-up sales at the box office, too.
We haven’t seen any official stats on this particular matter yet, but a little birdie…who attends every game at Dodger Stadium…e-mailed Clubhouse Cancer to report how it appears there are hundreds, if not thousands more Hispanics filling the canary-yellow bleachers lately.
We all know that Los Angeles is filled to the brim with Latinos and it seems they finally have a true Hispanic hometown hero for which to cheer, as evidenced by the recent video below.
If that is truly the case…the Dodgers would be fucking crazy not to re-sign Manny for the next 3-4 years when his current contract expires at the end of the season.
In sports, you promote to the market you have…and since we all know how popular béisbol is in the Latino world…Manny just might be the transcendent Hispanic-American champion which many, many sports-crazy expatriates have been dying to worship.
Plus…no offense intended…but they drink a lot of beer, too.
You knew this was coming…
Here’s this week’s Sports Illustrated cover. How did they ever think of it? Suck on it Mark Spitz…Michael Phelps not only smashed your medal count, but he obviously even wanted to make your iconic 70’s gold medal pic his own.
Mark Spitz is now officially Michael Phelps’ bitch. We'll be sleeping with this under our pillow for the next few weeks. At least until the Cubs march to a World Series title begins and SI puts them on the cover every week.
Take that, SI cover jinx.
